11.03.2013

Who Am I?



The emptiness I feel is robbing me of the right words to say.

It’s strange that I’ve been feeling this way. I was always certain of my emotions; they would always be of the extremes and are not impossible to determine; I would either be on a low or on a high, but scarcely in between. The middle one is almost trivial to me; it is something I rarely encounter and I honestly don’t know how I am going to handle it.

Maybe it’s the sudden change in my sleeping patterns or gulping way too much coffee that overwhelmed my senses, fatiguing and nearly shutting them down. But whatever the reason may be, the sobriety is making me uncomfortable. I am always an emotional one, a borderline dramatic human being. And not knowing what to feel feels like a stranger is trapped inside my body.

I am guilty, nonetheless, of wanting to be in this state for so long; feeling too much can be exhausting at times and it appears to me that people who have zero feelings thrive better in this cruel world. But I’d rather have the tears overflow, the loneliness cut through my throat, the laughter shake my bones, and the joy warm my soul than live like a robot, acting in programmed automaticity and in the absence of emotions.

I hope this is just temporary; I want my old self back…



Originally posted at http://www.teckler.com/en/Irenewrites/Who-Am-I-A-165553

19 comments:

  1. Irene, it is if you can read inside my thoughts...I am an all or nothing kind of girl, no middle ground for me either... It is such an emotional roller coaster to ride but wow when I am on a high...

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  2. I can relate so much to this post Irene, and I love this:
    "feeling too much can be exhausting at times and it appears to me that people who have zero feelings thrive better in this cruel world. But I’d rather have the tears overflow, the loneliness cut through my throat, the laughter shake my bones, and the joy warm my soul than live like a robot, acting in programmed automaticity and in the absence of emotions."

    Sometimes I feel like my deep raw emotions are a curse...but most times I'm glad for them...they make me who I am.

    Hugs from the States,
    Margo

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  3. i think we all feel the same once in a while. sometimes i get strucked by emptiness. or fears and doubts. sometimes it's the worry that's eating me. i hope you feel better soon, because we all know that you will. you'll be okay. we all will be okay :)

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  4. Cool post!

    www.bstylevoyage.blogspot.com
    xx

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  5. Just don't try to fix it over the night or push urself to feel better, it is normal to feel everything is wrong sometimes. Maybe I m not the right person to say that, but I was feeling low in my life too and still sometimes do and I feel the best when I don't try to fix it immidiatelly or find a magic solution, when I accept my feelings while making positive steps and not feeding my strange or anxiety feelings with more negative things even being aware of it. U will see everything will be just fine:) xx

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  6. nice post!

    http://thedaydreamings.blogspot.de/

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  7. Hiiiiii. I hope you sort yourself out. I just came across your blog, liked it and following you now. See you on my blog too! :D http://miss-ridx.blogspot.com/

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  8. You are a strong woman facing death and facing death is hard ....I know that ...
    Loosing two of my lovely one in 9th months ...hold on !!! You are string enough to handle it

    Annn

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  9. great post! would you like to follow eachother?
    xx
    daniella
    simplybeautifulelegant.blogspot.com

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  10. great pics , keep in touch ! ;D

    http://saralookbook.blogspot.com

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  11. Yes I sometimes feel the same way too!!!

    I really think you did a great job in writing a post everyone can relate to :)


    Just uploaded a new post so let me know what you think Girl :D

    Happy Monday!

    XXX

    Come by at The Fashion Milkshake!
    Rebro Cosmetics Haul!

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  12. Love your introspection here. You write with feeling. Sending happy and positive thoughts your way :)

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  13. It's always just temporary, I know exactly what you're saying. It's hard sometimes when you can feel everyone's pain, but in exchange we get to feel some immense joys in life. And I agree, I wouldn't give it up for anything.

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  14. I sincerely wish that this stage of you is temporary. Get back to your normal self soon dear.

    Cheers,
    Janika

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  15. I'm like you. Either feeling one extreme or the other. It's hard to deal with an in between emotion. I sure hope that this strange feeling of yours goes away soon.
    XOXO

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  16. It's just a passing phase my friend ... soon you will find yourself back to your old self :-)

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  17. So in love with your blog,really! I've just discovered it and I've been kept by your unique and amazing style, you got one more daily reader honey, I think your style fits perfectly with mine and I find you so inspiring, if you want you can have a look to my blog too, and maybe if you like it we can also follow each other, just let me know and congrats again, you're having such a great job :)
    Laura
    Http://gowestyoungcowgirl.blogspot.com

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